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You Can Teach an Old Dog New Tricks: A New Take on Masturbation

You Can Teach an Old Dog New Tricks A New Take on Masturbation

Masturbation. The word may evoke feelings of discomfort, shame, excitement, or all of the above. One thing we can all agree on however is that a word once vilified by many religious zealots, scientists and doctors as a threat to society has, in recent years, become the subject of open conversation. And that’s a good thing. You need only look at the amount of times a month porn is searched on Google in the United States (23 million) to see the progress we’ve made in sexual liberation. Now that our physicians are encouraging the act of masturbating (unlike 19th century physicians, who linked it to a range of diseases, including tuberculosis and epilepsy) we’re freer to live healthy and happy sexual lives.

Today masturbation is on the rise in both conversation and in practice. We all know it’s always been done, but now we’re seeing it happen on TV and in movies. We’re accepting it as an ordinary part of humanity. The findings of sex researchers Alfred Kinsey and Masters and Johnson changed the narrative of self-pleasure in the ’60s and ’70s. They discovered that 92% of men and 62% of women had masturbated at some point in their lives and proved that masturbation is both harmless and quite common. With the surge of positive attitudes on masturbation, a wave of new products for self-satisfaction has, naturally, graced the sex market.

Because sexual interests are about as wide-ranging as taste in food, the market for sex toys has become far more saturated than it was a mere few decades ago, with a record number of men opting to use them. Blowjob toys, cock rings, Fleshlights, male vibrators, prostate stimulators, realistic butts and realistic vaginas are just a fraction of the products easily bought online.

There is nothing shameful about buying a sex toy or buying many. Every device has a different quirk and function to it, so why not explore until you find one that blows your mind? We’re on the cusp of completely erasing the taboo around sexual gratification and allowing ourselves to do whatever we want. Bored with your hand? Your Fleshlight? Curious about toys that vibrate? Curious about toys made to resemble and feel like a mouth that will literally suck you off? The boom in technology has had a significant impact on sex toys, as more and more devices are battery powered and ergonomically designed so that you don’t have to do the work. The amount of creativity popping up in the sex toy industry is about as entertaining as it is appealing.

Among the sea of new products that can guarantee you sexual ease (and satisfaction you didn’t even know you needed) is the Fifi. This little hero of a toy is about as nifty as it is satisfying. The device is designed simply, like a burrito for your dick, with a disposable, replaceable inner sleeve that makes it so that every time you enter it, you’re entering a clean place—somewhere you can dirty up and not have to worry about the consequence of cleaning.

The toy rolls up and unrolls like a tortilla, or a tiny sleeping bag. Its adjustable tightness makes it so that you can customize the shape to your liking and make it as tight as you want it. This is just one example of the today’s sex toy boom in action. The problem? Cleanup. The solution? The Fifi.

You don’t have to clean up after using it. The sleeve contains your mess, including all the lube, which you can squirt right inside of it. When you’re satisfied, the sleeve and all the sexual residue you left in it is happy to spend the rest of its life in the trash. But you still have the Fifi and a brand new sleeve!
We’ve all experienced the groan-inducing struggle of having to finally clean an overused object you’ve been pretending isn’t dirty. Think of an ordinary sex toy like old-fashioned reusable rubber gloves. The Fifi is like the newer, more popular disposable ones, which we’d all rather use. Nobody really wants to clean up after themselves. We just want pleasure without the hassle. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

Whatever you’re looking for to satisfy your personal needs, it’s out there for you. Head for a search engine, put your shame and embarrassment aside and go to town! It’s a new era.