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Stay warm by masturbating with your fifi

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Here in the land of fifi it’s as cold as a witch’s tit in a brass bra, as our granddaddies used to say. You know what we won’t be doing a lot of in January, February, and March? Going outside, duh. You know what we’ll be doing with most of our free time, besides binging on Netflix and Amazon Prime? Making good use of our fifi men’s sex toys. With its cushiony outer foam and fabric layer, fifi is kind of like a cuddly blanket for your penis.

If you don’t buy that analogy, then just consider this: masturbation helps you stay warm. It raises your body temperature as it takes you closer and closer to your climax. We say this is the most fun a person can have all by themselves on a cold winter night. While you’re bundling up under blankets on your couch in a drafty house, maybe you should save on your heating bills by getting all toasty with the help of your trusty fifi. (Not that we would pretend to guarantee that you’ll save money on your electric bill, but you sure can feel good about yourself for trying, especially when you get to have an orgasm as a reward.) Even for those of us who are no stranger to a weekend spent on the couch, cabin fever can take hold and we’ve found no better cure for that than jacking off.

And when you’re done, you won’t have to turn on the water and wait for it to heat up before you clean your toy out, because there’s no cleaning to do. You just toss out the disposable sleeve like you’d throw away a condom. Until your next round of keeping warm through masturbation, your fifi male masturbator will be waiting for you, all rolled up or spread flat like your own personal cock blanket.

To stay warm this winter the most fun way we know, get fifi here.

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