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Six sex rules for better sex lives

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Sometimes, sex can’t be the anarchic good time that we would all like it to be. There are times when sex rules are necessary. Like, say, when you’re part of a couple and you want to remain that way. You know that you have to make each other happy. Rules don’t have to make sex less fun.

Not that we’re saying couples need to write their sex rules down in a book. Sometimes you don’t even speak them out loud, but you both know what to do and what not to do.

1. “The biggest one sounds pretty gross and maybe a little obvious, but we don’t have sex when either one of us is on our period,” said one of our coworkers who is in a relationship with another woman. “No matter how much we keep hearing that an orgasm can relieve pain.

2. “My rule is that there can be no overhead light on when we make love. It’s just too distracting, it’s unflattering to both of us, it affects my mood. Bedside lamps or candles are fine. I don’t need it to be totally dark. I just need mood lighting.” —Lisa

3. “We both agree that if the phone rings during sex, nobody is going to answer it!” —Mike

4. “We don’t have a lot of rules. The only one that I can honestly think of is that if there’s someone else in the house, we can’t make any noise. But we turned that into a game of who can be the quietest during sex.” —Jim

5. “The only rule we need is that we have to stay open and communicate about what’s working and not working sexually.” —Jennifer

6. “Our rule is that we have sex every weekend at least once, and on at least one other night a week.” —Jason