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Reclaim the bedroom from the Pink Floral Creep

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Do you live with a partner who is overly fond of pink stuff that’s covered in flowers? Do they make a pillow fort on the bed that you have to deconstruct every night before you can go to sleep? Does your bed wear a skirt?

Those are all telltale signs that your bedroom isn’t your own. We like to call it the Pink Floral Creep. Some guys build a man cave to deal with this sort of thing, but maybe you don’t have the space or the money to fix up a spare room or a garage to your heart’s masculine desire. This leaves you at the mercy of all that awful flowery pink stuff.

Now, maybe you’re lucky and your significant other isn’t into that sort of thing, but chances are you’ve still got to fight to keep some semblance of your own taste in home furnishings. Relationships are about compromise, right? Sometimes that means you have to live with ruffles on your curtains.

We know the indignity of the Pink Floral Creep, and we also know that some things aren’t worth fighting about. You might not be able to reclaim the bed from all those pillows, but fifi is kind of like a pillow. (In all seriousness, it makes a good neck pillow or lumbar support when you’re not using it for its intended purpose. Don’t be surprised if that’s what some people think it is.) Counteract all the pink and those awful floral patterns with your own fifi in any color your want. Sticking your dick in something camouflage is a surefire way to say “screw you, dust ruffle!” It’ll also save you from relationship-wrecking fights.

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