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Halloween costumes for your fifi male masturbator

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For those of us here at fifi, Halloween is one of the best times of the whole year. As incorrigible horn dogs, we love anything that makes people at parties and clubs bare flesh like they’re at the beach or in the bedroom. Okay, the “Sexy Freddie Krueger” costume is totally ridiculous, but we’re all about a “Sexy Paratrooper.” Dressing up as something you’re not is fun, so we thought it might be fun to make costumes for our favorite male sex toys. Here are a few ideas you can use if you’d like to dress up your fifi. Read more

Reclaim the bedroom from the Pink Floral Creep

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Do you live with a partner who is overly fond of pink stuff that’s covered in flowers? Do they make a pillow fort on the bed that you have to deconstruct every night before you can go to sleep? Does your bed wear a skirt?

Those are all telltale signs that your bedroom isn’t your own. We like to call it the Pink Floral Creep. Some guys build a man cave to deal with this sort of thing, but maybe you don’t have the space or the money to fix up a spare room or a garage to your heart’s masculine desire. This leaves you at the mercy of all that awful flowery pink stuff. Read more

Dudes sing about masturbation

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You’ve probably heard of playing Barry White to set the mood when you’re about to get laid, but have you ever treated yourself to a soundtrack for masturbation? If you’re more of a practical kind of guy, think of it this way: if you live with other people, you’d probably like a bit of privacy music. For whatever reason you choose, you’ll have no shortage of songs about choking your chicken in a variety of genres. See our previous post if you’re looking for women singing about masturbation, but this time it’s all about letting the dudes sing about masturbation. Maybe one day somebody will write a song about a fifi. Read more

Masturbation songs sung by women

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Music sets the mood for sex, but have you ever tried it for flying solo? Listening to a woman sing about masturbation can be a huge turn-on if you’re into women. (But if you’re not, don’t fret because we’re going to do another list for you, too.) It’s a myth that women don’t often sing about jilling off, and that’s why it’s so exciting when they do. Well, women do like to sing about celebrating Palm Sunday, but sometimes they’re more subtle. Sometimes. These songs about masturbation by women range from “subtle as a 2×4” to “your parents let you listen to the song repeatedly and never noticed” on the subtlety scale. Read more

Pumpkin spice sex toy, kinkier than coffee

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We’re up to our eyeballs in pumpkin spice everything, in case you hadn’t noticed. Every maker of just about every product goes overboard with the orange gourd during September through November, at least, with some spillage into the months before and after. If you’re not a fan of the sweet squash, it must be a tedious season: stores are full of pumpkin spice coffee, candy, baked goods, breakfast cereal, ice cream, alcohol, perfume, candles, skin care products, and beyond. We once saw an ad for a pumpkin spice massage special at a local spa, and not even the sexy kind. But it turns out there actually are pumpkin spice sex toys. Read more

Masturbation is good for you. Paging Dr. fifi!

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Back in the ’90s, the U.S. had a surgeon general who went on record to say that masturbation is good for you. At the time it was such a huge controversy that she ended up losing her job.

But she gets the last laugh now, because time has shown that she was on to something. There have been studies published all over the world that showed the cancer-fighting benefits of orgasm. Those studies have found that men who ejaculate more than five times per week are up to 33 percent less likely to develop prostate cancer. Cumming helps to flush toxins from your urogenital tract, according to sexologists. (Side note: what’s your homework like when you’re studying to become a sexologist? Even if it’s not hands-on, it has to be a great icebreaker in college when people ask “what’s your major.”) Read more

fifi as sleep aid? That’s our kind of sleep study!

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Do you pretty much pass out after orgasm? Lots of guys do. It has something to do with brain chemicals, the physical exertion of sex, and basically the fact that plenty of us are just tired in the first place. If you have sex in bed, then it’s only natural that your body says “Sleep now!” when you’ve finished. Sex is the perfect sleep aid because it feels awesome and when it’s over, you get to do another awesome thing. Getting off and then sleeping for at least eight hours, sounds like the perfect night. It’s habit forming but natural, so you get to feel good about that, too. Read more

What your favorite fifi color says about you

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fifi comes in five colors: Mack Black, Fire Red, Rugged Gray, Commando Camouflage, and Big Blue. Some of those are more popular than others, and we thought it might be fun to find out what psychological meaning each one might have. We’ve done some entirely scientific psychoanalysis on what your favorite fifi color says about you, and it’s not at all pulled out of our asses. Read more

Your first male sex toy? Make it fifi.

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Not that we have statistics to back this up or anything, but we think there are a lot of guys out there who haven’t used their first male sex toy yet. These poor guys have only ever used their hand to masturbate. Maybe they think a toy isn’t something they need (that’s why it’s called a toy) or maybe they just find it intimidating. Read more

fifi male masturbator: A tight hole when you need one

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Sometimes—or maybe most times, if our experience is anything to go by—all a man really wants is a tight hole to screw. Guys don’t necessarily care if their sex toy was molded to look like a porn star’s pussy, mouth, or anus. They can imagine any hole they want while they’re masturbating, or they can just experience the feeling and not think about anything at all. Chances are good that they’re not looking at the toy anyway. When it’s just a good wanking session you want, what you use to get off doesn’t have to be anything more than a hole that feels good. It’s why some guys apparently fuck fruit or warm pies. Read more