Music sets the mood for sex, but have you ever tried it for flying solo? Listening to a woman sing about masturbation can be a huge turn-on if you’re into women. (But if you’re not, don’t fret because we’re going to do another list for you, too.) It’s a myth that women don’t often sing about jilling off, and that’s why it’s so exciting when they do. Well, women do like to sing about celebrating Palm Sunday, but sometimes they’re more subtle. Sometimes. These masturbation songs by women range from “subtle as a 2×4” to “your parents let you listen to the song repeatedly and never noticed” on the subtlety scale.
“I Touch Myself” by the Divinyls—Subtlety goes out the window in what is probably the most famous of all female masturbation songs from the last couple of decades. It doesn’t get more obvious than this. See also: “Fingers” by Pink, “You’re Makin’ Me High” by Toni Braxton, and “Touch of My Hand” by Britney Spears.
“She Bop” by Cyndi Lauper—When this song came out, a generation of girls sang along to it on their boomboxes while their parents were none the wiser. People didn’t suspect the cartoon-voiced pop-punk pixie to be into that sort of thing. After all, wasn’t Madonna supposed to be the dirty one? The music video made it a little clearer, but was cute and coy about it.
“Icicle” by Tori Amos—The pouty-mouthed ginger pianist with the breathy voice and a penchant for humping her piano bench wrote a song about masturbation? Surely you jest.
“If” by Janet Jackson—She’s singing about some guy who, for some strange reason, isn’t paying her any attention while she lusts after him from afar. So she takes matters into her own hands every night in bed. See also: “Take Care,” also by Janet.
“Coin-Operated Boy” by the Dresden Dolls—Amanda Palmer decides that a vibrator is better than a real boy because there are none of those messy emotions. See also: “Vibe On” by Dannii Minogue.
We couldn’t possibly list all the masturbation songs that come to mind, but armed with these tunes, you’ve got a good starting point for a playlist about wanking. Get your fifi ready and have a jerk-along!Back