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fifi says reading is sexy

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Plenty of women we know say that reading is sexy, and men who write are even sexier. Well, in the interests of getting in good with the brainy ladies, we decided to write more poetry about our favorite male masturbator again. After all, it’s World Poetry Day. As regular visitors to this blog might remember, on Valentine’s Day we wrote some poems about the fifi sex toy for men. What can we say? We’re a bunch of sentimental wankers, so we’ve decided to put our fondness for fifi to a creative use once more. You might call it obsession, but we call it a fun hobby.

Here’s the favorite poetic form of everyone suffering from a short attention span, the haiku.

Now it’s my Me time
The dawn breaks through my window
fifi by my bed

Limericks, always among the most crowd-pleasing kinds of verse, are practically tailor made for sex toy poetry.

There once was a loud man called Steve
Who was frequently given to grieve:
So thin were his walls
We could all hear his calls
As he stuffed his shaft into a sleeve

And here’s another one. We admit that we had to take a little poetic license when it comes to grammar:

I once had a sex toy I hated
To clean when I’d done masturbated
With powder it dried
And I left it aside
‘Cause with fifi I’m totally sated

Sometimes, though, you just have to go with the freedom of free verse.

A fifi sex toy will make you holler
at a price of twenty-five dollars
give or take a bit.
When you measure the fuck
for the buck
your mind will be stuck
not on whether to buy it
but on whether one color’s enough.

Well, we never pretended to be the best poets in the world, but we can honestly say that the fifi male masturbator is the only sex toy that ever inspired us in this way. We do think reading is sexy, but for those times when you’d rather curl up with a good pocket pussy instead of a pocket-sized paperback, there’s fifi. Get your fifi here and let it unleash your inner sex fiend as well as the bard that you never knew was inside you, just waiting to be set free.