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fifi poetry for Valentine’s Day weekend

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True romantics, you can have a Valentine this year even if you think you don’t. Your fifi male masturbator will always happily be your Valentine. We think it’s high time we paid this humble male sex toy the attention it deserves with some fifi poetry, so if you’d like to set the mood, get yourself a cup of fancy coffee and put on some of those tortoiseshell reading glasses that make you look smarter.

First, how about the kind of rhyming verse that we used to scrawl with crayons on construction paper hearts back in our school days:

Roses are red
Jizz is really sticky
Put your penis in a fifi
So you don’t feel icky

Then again, maybe you’re more of a haiku kind of dude:

The season of lust
An explosion of love’s juice
Sleeve catches the spill

Sometimes an acrostic poem is what gets the message across best of all. That’s the kind that spells out words using the first letter of each line. We thought we’d keep this one short and simple:

For every sticky burden
In the sleeve it goes
Free to toss it with the trash
It’s easy to dispose

And finally, we think there’s no poetic form more perfect for fifi than the beloved, filthy limerick:

There once was a man with a pail
Whose principle goal was to nail.
  He won’t make a mess
  But the hole’s too big—bless!
With fifi his fuck wouldn’t fail.

Those of you hopeless romantics out there who already own this simple, easy men’s sex toy might feel inspired to write your own fifi poetry on this Valentine’s Day weekend. If you’re also feeling inspired but you don’t have a fifi yet, just go to our website to buy the best male masturbator. You can count on fifi to be your Valentine all year long.