We see fewer masturbation scenes in movies than outright fucking, probably for the same reason we’re always told that masturbation will make us go blind. Somehow, society got the idea that pleasuring yourself is “dirtier” than getting it on with another person. (Sex with multiple other people is even “worse” on the scale o’ sin, but we’re getting off topic.) We at fifi Sex Toy for Men love to see self-loving getting the attention it deserves in mainstream Hollywood movies.
So here are some of the most famous movie masturbation scenes, in chronological order. We’ve left out the disturbing ones, like The Exorcist and Midnight Express, because we’re all about the fun ones.
A machine called the Orgasmatron fits two people inside and its purpose is to give people orgasms, because most of the poor bastards in this film are impotent or frigid. When Woody Allen’s character is trying to escape the police, he hides in the Orgasmatron thinking it’s a closet. When his hiding place is discovered and the door is opened, his blissful smile says it all.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)
Front-fastening bikinis are already hot as hell. Put one on a wet Phoebe Cates who’s just emerged from a swimming pool, have her open it in slow motion, and you have one of the most iconic movie masturbation scenes. We don’t blame Judge Reinhold for fantasizing about it, but we cringe of secondhand embarrassment when she walks in on him tickling the tube steak.
American Pie (1998)
Three guys watch on a hidden webcam as sexy Shannon Elizabeth takes her clothes off in a bedroom, finds Jason Biggs’ porno mag stash, and starts to play with herself. This movie also features the infamous scene with a guy fucking an apple pie, but we’d rather watch the hot woman masturbating to naked women.
There’s Something About Mary (1998)
Ben Stiller tries to masturbate his nerves away before a date with his dream girl Cameron Diaz, but there’s a knock on the door just after he cums. He can’t figure out where the jizz went, so he answers the door. Cameron finds the semen dangling from his ear, thinks it’s hair gel, and puts some in her hair. As you can see in the picture, the resulting hairstyle is pretty horny.
Meek legal secretary Maggie Gyllenhaal has just gotten a spanking from her dominant boss, James Spader. They’re in the early stages of what will become a complicated romantic relationship. Submitting to him turns her on so much she immediately goes to masturbate in the restroom, where another woman overhears her.
Don Jon (2013)
Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s porn-addicted title character is dating a “perfect 10” played by Scarlett Johansson, but he still keeps jerking it in multiple scenes.
Maybe one day you’ll see a fifi male masturbator in a movie. If you get yours now, you can say you knew fifi before she went Hollywood.Back