You’ve probably heard of playing Barry White to set the mood when you’re about to get laid, but have you ever treated yourself to a soundtrack for masturbation? If you’re more of a practical kind of guy, think of it this way: if you live with other people, you’d probably like a bit of privacy music. For whatever reason you choose, you’ll have no shortage of songs about choking your chicken in a variety of genres. See our previous post if you’re looking for women singing about masturbation, but this time it’s all about letting the dudes sing about masturbation. Maybe one day somebody will write a song about a fifi.
“Turning Japanese” by the Vapors—We’ll get this one out of the way because it’s the one everybody from Generation X is likely to think of first. The singer has said it’s not about jerking off, but the world disagrees.
“My Ding-A-Ling” by Chuck Berry—This song uses the literary device known as onomatopoeia, likening the sound of a school bell to the penis. No, but really though, he’s talking about how he could hardly wait to jack off as soon as school let out.
“Orgasm Addict” by the Buzzcocks—This guy discovered masturbation and his poor jeans were never clean again. But unlike the other chronic masturbators, he’s also getting off with strangers in alleys. Also, “Buzzcocks” is another word for “vibrators,” so there you go.
“Darling Nikki” by Prince and the Revolution—Only part of this song mentions the deed, but thanks to an 11-year-old Karenna Gore playing this song while her mom Tipper could hear it, this became one of the most notorious songs associated with masturbation and we have parental advisory labels on music. If you’re too young to remember, Google can tell you the whole story. If you were a kid in the ’80s you could probably slip “Dancing with Myself” by Billy Idol past your overprotective mom or dad.
“Be My Girl – Sally” by the Police—Sally is a blowup doll.
“Rose Darling” by Steely Dan—It should come as no surprise that a band named after a dildo in a William S. Burroughs novel would write a song about masturbation.
“No Bone Movies” by Ozzy Osbourne—He feels guilty about jerking it to porn, but he just can’t stop.
There are hundreds more, but this is a great start for a self-loving playlist. When you’re feeling inspired, press play and get your fifi.Back